Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy (2008) ©Geffen Records U.S.A.

Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy (2008)
©Geffen Records
U.S.A.

Tracklist:

1. Chinese Democracy (4:43)
2. Shackler's Revenge (3:37)
3. Better (4:58)
4. Street of Dreams (4:46)
5. If the World (4:54)
6. There Was a Time (6:41)
7. Catcher in the Rye (5:53)
8. Scraped (3:30)
9. Raid in the Bedouins (4:10)
10. Sorry (6:14)
11. I.R.S (4:28)
12. Madagascar (5:38)
13. This I Love (5:34)
14. Prostitute (5:15)

By now, most people already have their opinions about "Chinese Democracy". The fan boys are going ape-shit for it, the critics are giving it mixed reviews (which the Guns N' Roses website does NOT acknowledge, claiming the album is receiving quote "rave reviews"), and the rest of the world has already flushed it down the same way I flush down unwelcome diarrhea. With a look of disgust on their faces. So what's this reviewers' opinion of the latest album by Axl Rose and company?

It's garbage and I hate it.

Well no surprise there. Maybe because this isn't Guns N' Roses. It's Axl Rose without the original line-up making monetary gain off the GNR name. I know it. You know it. Axl Rose knows it. It took seventeen (somewhat) years to come into completion since the band's last full length album. I say seventeen because I don't count "The Spaghetti Incident" as an actual album considering it's comprised completely of cover songs. Either way, much to the world's dismay, "Chinese Democracy" is nowhere near a masterpiece. 'Nor is it anywhere near enjoyable for that matter. Allow me to elaborate.

Vocally, I'd rather have Oliver Sykes of Bring Me the Horizon as front man for this album. Axl Rose's vocals, are for lack of a better word, terrible. I mean, don't get me wrong; Oliver Sykes has the vocal capabilities of a mid-orgasm Helen Keller being ass-rammed by a Retardosaurous-Rex, but Axl Rose honestly can't sing for his life. His voice is the equivalent of a whiny teenager crying to his mom because she grounded him for staying up past his bedtime. As for guitar work, this is by far the weakest element of "Chinese Democracy". Abysmal would be a nice way of describing how bland and relentlessly unoriginal the guitar riffs contained on the album are. As for solos? They're here. But they're not any good, so don't get your hopes up. You won't be hearing anything remotely similar to the flawless mastery of the skill portrayed on "Appetite for Destruction". Instead, you get generic rock solos. Nothing less, but unfortunately; nothing more.

And this is my main complaint about "Chinese Democracy". It's just generic rock. There's no substance, creativity, or originality contained on this album at all. Any innovative ideas which may have been put into this album must have been forgotten while Axl Rose was busy suing people for leaking stolen tracks over the internet. I, on the other hand, commend the people who leaked this album, for sending us a warning to not expect revolution, or even evolution. Sure GNR have changed (line-up) since the days of "Appetite for Destruction", "Use Your Illusion" and (why?) "The Spaghetti Incident", but instead of moving forward, it seems as if Axl and crew have taken a huge step sideways.

I mean, about eighty percent of "Chinese Democracy" is basic rock filler to fill in the gap where creative ideas could have been placed. (Axl was too busy suing people, remember?) But to be fair, I actually highly enjoy the album's title track. It's pretty basic rock but it has great melody and power to it. Unfortunately, the rest of the album just doesn't cut it. Basically, if you're going to take almost two decades to write and complete an album, you better make damn sure it lives up to the hype, or pricks like myself are going to chew it up and spit it out; as opposed to my mom's Pork Loin Roast, which just gets chewed up. I love that shit. My mom kicks ass.